Unblinking, Unflinching

When I grew
I came from nowhere
somewhere I didn't know
didn't recognize
where I came from

no one completely human
some would say animals
raised me up
shot down
who I might have been

I wasn't raised by people
but children frightened
peeping through
sunlit sheers
through glass

at lives unfolding
fearful thoughts
and shameful whispers
formed them
when they grew
where they grew

in the only ways they knew
no pride in this
only confusion
tears of
frustration and pain

When I grew I didn't
know that it wasn't
normal to grow this way
I grew in the only way I knew
in the only dirt given me

from the ground up
this was normal
half-formed animals
giving what they could spare
sometimes love
basted with fear

taking from me and telling me
"I'm giving you something
something important
something real
something necessary

this pain is necessary
this horror
is all I have for you
is all they gave me
when I grew"

But now I see
I think I know
I thought I saw something
other than this
in the silence filled with swarming
thoughts not given words

We go so far
only to come back
bent and alone
from unbearable heat
that we bear nonetheless

murky days filled with tears
and clouds and rain
tempered by the thought
"I grew from this"

When I grew
I didn't know that others do it
differently, poignantly
different
not hurting to hurt
nor fighting to fight

but trying
with all they've got
to make it
better, to make it
easier for everyone
remembering

that love is a sign of strength
in the rain of life
never knowing what

that true love is silent
more than it speaks