Repeat

If this were an ending
there would be one or two people crying
apart wondering smarting lost 
to a world once shining and strong
now gone
previously unrecognizable
battle damaged and weary
sagging and smoldering far too often
at night alone with the wind and crickets
the breeze not cooling but fanning
quiet whimpering muffled by
the few remaining walls
boundaries broken and trampled

if this were an ending there'd be
anger and tears or perhaps even violence
a staircase broken glass and blood
windows punched out 
shelves ripped bare
your eyes wilder than usual
my tears and begging 
unheard unheeded

if this were an ending
someone might drive away from a gas station
while the other was gone to the dirty bathroom
at 3 in the morning after even more fighting more crying
left to fend in a part of town 
where you hope not to meet anyone just walking

if this were the end of something 
that had been built by shaky hands 
sometimes prone to swinging
wildly unpredictably like a newborn
eyes goggling like a swerving lens 
on auto focus in predawn fog
arms slicing random diagonals
Xs Zs Ms and Ns
lightning bolts in shape alone
never really making contact
just flailing